Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Self Doubt
I've wavered back and forth on this idea for a long time, but almost all of you have talked to me about it at some point. This is what I learned in school, and it's something I work hard at. I feel like an arrogant b*#%&(@*# that I made this other blog, because maybe Matt has something. Maybe skinny people just don't know. This is what I do know; being skinny isn't a genetic given right, and I'm smug about the fact that I am. I know I've been 10 pounds heavier than this, not pregnant, and have lost it. I've been 10 pounds lighter than this and lost my period. I'm currently 24% body fat, I'd like to be 19%, but we'll see. I don't believe in anything gimmicky, but through diet and exercise. Maybe I'm obsessed. I do posterior pelvic tilts to work my abs while I read. I'm fully crazy if you want to open up the can, which I think I just did. Until now I've offered subtle advise to not let out how bad I am. But it's all out now, and I'll be seriously sad if I'm the only one lose 10 pounds in an effort to help everyone else achieve 10 pounds. I will lose the last remaining curve on my body that hints toward the fact that I'm a girl and not a 12 y/o boy. And maybe everyone will despise me for it. I almost don't want anyone to respond to any posts on this blog, because my help in this extreme hasn't been asked for. But I have to think maybe I do have something to offer. My self-confidence is on a roller coaster.
Sunday through Tuesday
Sunday
Breakfast- bowl of oatmeal squares 250 calories
Lunch- nature valley peanut bar thing 170 calories, apple about 240 calories
Dinner- 2 gold dollar size pieces of roast beef, 1/2 apple size portions of potatos and gravy, waldorf salad and green beans I have no idea how many calories
Then I ate a junk load of robin eggs and a piece of apple pie.
Monday
Breakfast-bowl of oatmeal squares 250 calories
Ran 4 miles at 5-5.5mph burned 500 something calories
Lunch- 1/2 a tuna fish sandwich with carrots and celery in it. 210 calories
Dinner- spaghetti and meatballs, green beans and 1.5 breadsticks. I don't have any idea how many calories, but my plate was far from full.
Then I had about 7 oreos 385 calories, plus 80 calories for the glass of milk.
Tuesday
Breakfast-bowl of oatmeal squares 250 calories
back to back aerobics video workouts 50 minutes
Lunch- market street grill for Wes' birthday. 1 piece of sourdough bread no butter, not all of a bowl of clam chowder, some mahi mahi and some potato. Really didn't finish it.
Breakfast- bowl of oatmeal squares 250 calories
Lunch- nature valley peanut bar thing 170 calories, apple about 240 calories
Dinner- 2 gold dollar size pieces of roast beef, 1/2 apple size portions of potatos and gravy, waldorf salad and green beans I have no idea how many calories
Then I ate a junk load of robin eggs and a piece of apple pie.
Monday
Breakfast-bowl of oatmeal squares 250 calories
Ran 4 miles at 5-5.5mph burned 500 something calories
Lunch- 1/2 a tuna fish sandwich with carrots and celery in it. 210 calories
Dinner- spaghetti and meatballs, green beans and 1.5 breadsticks. I don't have any idea how many calories, but my plate was far from full.
Then I had about 7 oreos 385 calories, plus 80 calories for the glass of milk.
Tuesday
Breakfast-bowl of oatmeal squares 250 calories
back to back aerobics video workouts 50 minutes
Lunch- market street grill for Wes' birthday. 1 piece of sourdough bread no butter, not all of a bowl of clam chowder, some mahi mahi and some potato. Really didn't finish it.
Confessions of a Closet Anorexic
This is what you'll be thinking after this post.
Most of my philosophy comes from my dad to the never ending annoyance of my mom. Eat less; exercise more. It's a pretty simple mantra, but sometimes easier said than done. Especially when we all have a sweet-tooth. So these are some of the things that I do and think, and for the record you have all seen me eat loads of food and I never throw up. Not even pregnant.
1. For me to lose weight I have to do an intense cardio workout 45-60 minutes/day.
2. I stop eating when I reach the point that I'm not hungry, not full, just no longer hungry.
3. I frequently go to bed hungry. What's the point in eating before bed? They're calories that you aren't going to burn off sleeping. If I'm so hungry I can't handle it I'll eat some grapes or have a glass of milk.
4. I cannot have the mind set of: I worked out today so it's ok if I eat this high fat and calorie ________. You don't deserve anything.
5. Social eating is a killer. When you go out to eat remember point number 2.
6. Don't eat by the clock, or a schedule, or because you should. Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're not.
7. Remember your brain doesn't register thirst as quickly as it does hunger. So really, if you feel hungry, you're probably just thirsty. Have you ever been out to eat with me and have my fly through 4 lemonades before the meal even gets there?
Most of my philosophy comes from my dad to the never ending annoyance of my mom. Eat less; exercise more. It's a pretty simple mantra, but sometimes easier said than done. Especially when we all have a sweet-tooth. So these are some of the things that I do and think, and for the record you have all seen me eat loads of food and I never throw up. Not even pregnant.
1. For me to lose weight I have to do an intense cardio workout 45-60 minutes/day.
2. I stop eating when I reach the point that I'm not hungry, not full, just no longer hungry.
3. I frequently go to bed hungry. What's the point in eating before bed? They're calories that you aren't going to burn off sleeping. If I'm so hungry I can't handle it I'll eat some grapes or have a glass of milk.
4. I cannot have the mind set of: I worked out today so it's ok if I eat this high fat and calorie ________. You don't deserve anything.
5. Social eating is a killer. When you go out to eat remember point number 2.
6. Don't eat by the clock, or a schedule, or because you should. Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're not.
7. Remember your brain doesn't register thirst as quickly as it does hunger. So really, if you feel hungry, you're probably just thirsty. Have you ever been out to eat with me and have my fly through 4 lemonades before the meal even gets there?
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